Monday, March 27, 2023


Last Sunday I was going through boxes of things that I haven't opened in years.  Years.
And I found this picture of my brother in a little wooden box of my mother's that was packed in a box of her stuff.  This picture was taken somewhere within the year leading up to my brother's death. I took it.  I remember goofing around with the Polaroid camera we had in the house very well.
Today would have been Michael's 52nd birthday.  30 years ago today my family was celebrating what my brothers last birthday alive.  Thirty years.
Almost every year since 1993 I have gotten him some sort of birthday present. Something small that he would have liked, or an album by a band he liked, or something like that. 
Those who are close to me know the past couple years have been nothing short of insane.  Good and bad insane. Truely a run of the highest highs and the lowest lows.  And finding this picture simultaneously devastated me and filled my heart with so much joy.
He also died thirty years ago.  Almost 6 months to the day of his birthday.  And the three years after that were also a run of the highest highs and the lowest lows.

Happy Birthday Michael.  I think about you every day, and with a smile on your face when I do.  Even if it's just a smirk like in the picture above.
Today is the start of only living to push for the highest highs. So, when my time comes people will think of me smiling.

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