Old Lyrics - The Best Hooker In Town

The Best Hooker In Town

I was only 13 years old
And didn't know how to do,
How to do those things they say
Make a man out of you

So a few friends of mine
Who were a little older than me
Took me to see a woman
And paid to make a man out of me
She said: "I can be your baby tonite,
Or maybe two.
Don't worry 'cuz I don't bite.
Unless you want me to."

She was the best hooker in town
She spun my teenage world around and round
The best hooker in town
She knew I'd never done it before, and showed me all around

It's been ten years since then,
I'm going gray at 23
Was at a diner the other nite
After 3 AM

And a friend of mine pointed out a waitress
Who had been staring at me
Discreetly I looked over
And her head turned away from me

And I heard those words in my head:

"I can be your baby tonite
Or maybe two.
Don't worry 'cuz I don't bite
Unless you want me to."

She was the best hooker in town
And there she was filling drunken college boys coffee
She was the best hooker in town
But she's got bills to pay, and the world keeps spinnin' around

Monday Song # 2

Monday Song - Charlie Big Potato

Monday Song - It's Can't Rain All The Time - Jane Sibbery

Monday Song - It's So Easy - Guns N' Roses

SATNITE!!!! G@mrz World Premier @ Paris in Plantsville 9/29!!!

This is gonna be AWESOME!!!!

Not only is Elmwood showing our new web-series in it's entirety but you can come hang out with us all day and play games!!!

Paris In Plantsville is proud to continue with hosting the Ten Year Celebration of Elmwood Productions with a screening of our new web-series "G@mrz" on September 29th 2012!

Doors open at 7:00 PM and the screening begins at 8:00.
"G@mrz" is rated PG-13

...

"G@mrz" is a series that chronicles the weekly attempts of four friends to sit down and run a role-playing game, often with disastrous results.

As with all our screenings it's free! But we do appreciate donations to Paris in Plantsville. Your donations help events like this keep happening!@

And before the screening From 1:00 PM to 7:00 PM Elmwood Productions and Jim Williams are hosting a day of gaming! Board Games, Card Games, and more will be available, and we invite you to bring a game of your own.

Scheduled Games include:
Talisman
Apples to Apples
Munchkin
The Jim Williams Star Wars Trivial Pursuit Challenge
Magic the Gathering
Hide and Seek
and many more...

There will be raffles, refreshments, and a lot of general frivolity involved. Bring a friend!
for more information on the gaming please use this link -
http://www.facebook.com/events/343693829050403/

Monday Song - While My Guitar Gently Weeps

Monday Song - Kiss From A Rose

Old Lyrics - Bill On The Street

Bill On The Street

They say let the system work for you
And it's gone, don't let it
Affect you
It'll all flip over

Within ten days you'll have it all
Within five more it'll all be gone
Hollywood is calling me (you)

Burnt out all the options
And transactions that could
Affect you
It'll all be over

Within ten days you'll have it all
Within five more it'll all be gone
Hollywood is killing me (us)

The lights are as bright as
They said they should be
Pretty girls full of plastic
Pretty boys full of plastic
All paid for with plastic
And I'm no ecstatic

The machine runs smooth for you
Gears well oiled, all is cool
L.A. sunset reminds me of you
Now, it's over

Within ten days I'm going home
Within five days I'll be on my own
Hollywood tried to kill us.

Prince Album of the Week - Purple Rain

Monday Song - Lucky

Complicity...

A Monday Morning Song...  On a Sunday Evening...

Prince Album of the Week - 1999

Old Lyrics - This Is The Best Day of My Life

This Is The Best Day Of My Life

When I woke up this mornin’ I fell outta bed
This is the best day of my life
When I got dressed I ripped o hole in my pants
This is the best day of my life
Ready for work, get in my car, outta gas
This is the best day of my life
Late for work, I take the bus, someone stole my wallet
This is the best day of my life
My boss tells me to go home, I’m fired
This is the best day of my life
When I get home my girlfriend calls to tell me she’s pregnant
This is the best day of my life
And the baby isn’t mine
This is the best day of my life
I dump her, she tells me to drop dead
This is the best day of my life
At night I go out dancing, I break my leg
This is the best day of my life
Ambulance comes, the driver is drunk
This is the best day of my life
It hits a truck, and goes up in flames
This is the best day of my life
I jump from the fire and fall in a ditch
This is the best day of my life

There is a suitcase in the ditch, I open it up, it’s full of cash, millions, I limp to a hospital, get fixed up, go home, keep the money and live rich forever
I told you
This is the best day of my life

Monday Song - Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd

For Michael...

Happy Labor Day!

Don't forget...  It's LAbor Day so support the MDA!!!

 

MDA Show of Strength

Prince Album of The Week - Controversy

Jerry Nelson 1934-2012

G@MRZ!!! Yay!!!

We made a series of shorts last year and this year about a group of role playing game freaks called "G@mrz"...

And before we post them all online and put out the eventual DVD we're premiering it at Paris In Plantsville on 9/29!

This series is special to me.  It's the first time in Elmwood history I sat on the sidelines...

I didn't wirte it or direct it, or produce it...  Hell, I was only an additional puppeteer!  Not ven a lead.  It was a nice break too...

All I did was make the puppets. 

So who did all the hard work?

Jim Williams, that's who.  

And he should be proud.  He made some funny shit.

And since we're celebrating Elmwood's Tenth still, it's the perfect time to release this on you...

I hope you come to see it September 29!

More info HERE!

and here's the trailer - Enjoy!

Prince Album of The Week - Dirty Mind

Monday Song - You Look So Fine

My new theme song....

Happy Birthday Jordan! - Sweet Dreams

8/17- Tomorrow is Black Cat Day!!!

Shout out to my three black cats!
Tugger, Ripper, and the new one - Blue!
Everyone celebrate tomorrow!!!
And thanks to Brian for letting me know about this awesome holiday!  Hahaha!

Prince Album of the Week - Prince

Old Lyrics - Circus Lights

CIRCUS LIGHTS

Now here I am, a clown once again,
In the three ring circus of life.
On the stage, alive, flying solo.
With a tear in my eye.

You raped my soul
And left me in Beachland Park.
Under a tree by a pond.
I sat there four hours, piecing it together,
And taking it back apart.

I’m in the park, juggling hearts,
Under the circus lights.

Brothers forever, no matter.
What went wrong?
Still you abandoned me as I begged to be free.
A prince once said;
“some things are better left unsaid, and some people are better left untrusted”,
I should’ve known that would pertain to all of you.

Now it’s raining on my parade.
And all my friends are on cocaine.
I’ve been tripping (on the telephone cord)
Day and night, day and night,
I’m in the park, juggling hearts
Under the circus lights.

Fate has its way with every man.
Even the clowns to be.

I’ve seen the big top come down
On my best friend too soon.
The three rings became two.
One is still empty,
In the other is me.

Now its raining on my parade.
All my friends are on cocaine.
I’ve been tripping (on the telephone cord)
Day and night, day and night,
I’m in the park juggling hearts
Under the circus lights.

Have you ever really seen a clown cry?
Have you ever really looked into my eyes?

Behind the Scenes...

Last official day of shooting for Elmwood Puppets' "Animal Behavior" 6/27/12

Two of the coolest things ever...

Prince Album of The Week - For You

Monday Song - I Wanna Be Your Dog - The Stooges